ugh son of a shii

see i never wanted any of this to happen. all i wanted was for someone to talk to. i didn’t want you to confront them about what was going on. i could see shit was awkward so i didn’t want to be a part of it and just sat out. im not gonna stay where i’m unwanted. whether or not my feelings were bad i’m trying to let them go for the better of everything, but shit just keeps going down that makes it 7x more worst. i already know i’m at fault for a lot of the things happening. idk how i can make them better but i’m trying so hard to not let them get the better of me. now everyone got into a fucking argument at almost 4 in the morning. there people yelling in cars venting in rooms all because of me. do you know how much worst that makes me feel. i can’t stand how things are going now and i don’t want to be any where near it. i just wish i kept my mouth shut about how i feel. how am i supposed to be comfortable with telling my boyfriend about my feelings when shit gets blown out like this. all of this could’ve been avoided if i just kept it bottled in and just let it go like how everyone wanted me to. none of this is right and i have no clue how the fuck to fix any of it. its my problem to fix not anyone else. whether it’d be confronting them myself or just letting it go. i never told anyone to stand up for me or be the damn mediator. now i look more like the bad person in all of this…. i hate this